Sunday, October 19, 2014


It was September 17, 2014. I was sitting in a Doctor's Office, waiting to hear that I was dying.

The Doctor was typing, and I was passed out on the exam table. I was so sick, so weak, and so exhausted, I could barely answer her questions.

She woke me up pretty quick:

Doctor: "Amanda, you're pregnant"

Me: "...................................... No, I'm not"

Doctor: "Yes, you are, look" (hands me the positive test results)

Me: ".........................No, you don't understand, I'm dying...."

You could say this was a shock for us. It has been KILLING me to keep this to myself for the past month.

I do strive to live an open and vulnerable life on social media. But with our history of losses, well, have you ever had to "unnannounce" a pregnancy? It's heartbreaking and discouraging and not fun.

So we are officially twelve weeks on Thursday!

 Are we scared?


Are we prepared?

No (please excuse me) freaking way. Some days I wonder how I make it through the day with one boy with FPIES - what will I do if I have another with the same or worse?

Then I remember: God is sovereign.

Does that magically make my fears go away? Nope.

Does it give me comfort and remind me that I'm not alone? YES.

Soooooo you now have the REAL reason why I started P90 recently. I have to take it easy with everything going on, plus, I have been SO sick with this pregnancy that the smallest (quick) movement makes me want to go running to the bathroom.

And seriously - food pictures. Wonder why I haven't posted any recipes lately? I can't STAND to look at pictures of food, food in person, smell food, UGH!! No food!

It has been a very rough first trimester... looking forward to trimester #2 starting this week! :)

The good news: I've done a TON of research and brought my Shakeology in to my Doctor, who approved taking it in the place of prenatal vitamins (as long as I add iron in to my diet). As a result, I've been drinking Shakeology every day, and have only gained three pounds these first three months. When I was prego with my Logan, I had gained at least ten pounds by this point!

Whew, this post is a load off of my shoulders! I can't do secrets anymore! ;)

12 weeks on Thursday!

- Amanda :)

1 comment:

  1. That is a really cool way to find out you are pregnant! Well, not that you felt like you were dying, but that you at least had a good reason to feel terrible :) What wonderful news! I, too, feel totally unprepared in many ways for baby #4. It seems absurd! I'm "old", my youngest is 5, we got rid of all the baby stuff, how will I homeschool and take care of an infant? Who cares about any of that? Children are a true gift and blessing from the Lord!