I know, I know, you all know that.
But seriously, even more than clothes shopping: I hate GROCERY shopping.
Of course, there are the normal reasons: I'm an introvert and am all awkward when I see someone I know. My kid likes to pick his nose in the middle of the store or attempt to do back flips off of the shopping cart.
But even more than that, I HATE walking into a grocery store because I KNOW my little boy can't eat 99% of what's in that store.
None of the treats, or even some of the healthier stuff. Just a few organic berries or veggies.
But as of this week, I hate it even more.
Today, I walked into the grocery store with all the (very little) strength I had, and stared helplessly at the produce department.
See, now it's not just my little boy who can't eat what's there. I can't eat it either.
It used to be that I'd trash talk the premade cakes and cookies as I walked by.
Now it's the fruits. Some veggies. Some of the things I took for granted even weeks ago.
It took all of my strength today to not break down and cry in the middle of the store.
To walk through the motions all over again - to look at vegetables and research right in the store whether it's safe for fighting candida or not.
To carefully look at ingredients list and get frustrated when I don't recognize an ingredient.
A couple of months ago, I finally got to a place where I had memorized every little item that was safe for my boy. Now I have major restrictions.
The hardest part though is this:
As of right now, we can eat just cucumbers and celery together. That's it.
That means every meal we eat different food - and it means twice as much time in the kitchen, and a lot more money spent.
Am I overwhelmed?
Am I frustrated?
Am I scared?
But I know that ALL things work together for good (Romans 8:28, yes please!!) - not some things, but ALL things!
This journey has already been HARD. I have been TIRED. My body has been wanting to do nothing but lie down all day. My workouts have suffered. My little boy wants his energetic Mommy back. I am getting tired of the scary symptoms flaring up here and there. I haven't been able to connect with my friends and customers and challenge groups like I desperately want to.
But I truly do believe that all things work together for good. I will get through this, I will come out stronger for it, and most importantly - I will help others do the same.
But I'm pretty sure I'll never enjoy shopping! ;)